Why?

And here ends another day of my ____ life.

I don’t really want to give it any adjectives… emptiness would describe it more accurately.

 

With every day I fight to stay alive, I find it hard to answer a simple question: why?

I try to avoid facing this question to the the extent that my goal in life has become to not think about my goal in life.

 

Life is funny…

It’s rather sad.

 

It’s very difficult for my limited comprehension to combine between the realization that I am one within millions, a particle in a desert, a drop in an ocean, and the realization that this is all I have.

It’s very difficult for my limited comprehension to combine between realizing that death is certainly coming, and realizing that life is all I have.

All I have is certainly ending.

All I have is to fight for all I have.

 

Why?

For a mortal living? for a temporary pleasure? for a happiness that is followed by depression? for a youth that is followed by staleness?

why?

save me…tell me.

I am begging you.

I am kissing your feet.

Yes, I am this humbled. Yes, my condition is this bad.

I’ve knocked on doors til my hands bled. I’ve asked people til my tongue tried. I’ve knelt til my knees can no longer support me.

What should I do?

And, why?